Badd Business
by SapeloSweetie
Summary: One-shot. Mia goes to jail for the eggplant debacle.


_This story takes place after Mia drops the eggplant out of the window and it splatters all over an M1 and an idling Jag. I hate to do this, but in order to lead into the story, I am going to quote some of Meg's work (it's the text in bold print). Just a cute little one-shot, something to do while waiting on reviews for my fabulous new story! Just kidding. Here goes…_

_Disclaimer: As stated above, I will be using some of Meg's material, and she owns all rights and privileges to the Princess Diaries and all characters. I just want to borrow them for a while._

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"**Bombs away," I said, like in the movies. It was kind of cool to see this huge purple eggplant—it was the size of a football—tumbling over and over in the air as it fell. There are enough streetlamps on Fifth Avenue, where the Moscovitzes live, for us to see it as it plummeted downward, even though it was night. Down and down the eggplant went, past the windows of all the psychoanalysts and investment bankers (the only people who can afford apartments in Lilly's building) until suddenly—SPLAT!**

**The eggplant hit the sidewalk. Only it didn't just hit the sidewalk. It _exploded _on the sidewalk, sending bits of eggplant flying everywhere—mostly all over an M1 city bus that was driving by at the time, but quite a lot all over a Jaguar that had been idling nearby.**

Me, Shameeka, Ling Su, and Lilly stuck our heads out of the window. The driver of the Jag stepped out onto the street and looked up. The man cursed at us and pulled out his cell phone. Uh-Oh, this does not look good.

We quickly pulled our heads in and fell in a heap on Lilly's bedroom floor. "Um, maybe that wasn't such a good dare." Lilly stated. Shameeka and Ling Su, eyes wide with fear, nodded.

We sat on the floor for a good five minutes before there was a knock on Lilly's door. "Lillian, will you and the others please come into the living room for a minute?"

It was Lilly's mom. She said Lillian. This cannot be good. We filed into the living room. I was biting my nails harder than ever. There in the middle of the room, stood two of New York's finest. Policemen. They both crossed their arms across their chest and leveled a glare at the four of us. "We got a call from someone saying something that appears to be the remains of an eggplant is pasted on the side of their vehicle. Do any of you girls know why that could be?"

We all glanced at each other nervously. Finally I spoke up. "It was me officer. But I didn't mean to do it, I mean, I meant to drop it out of the window, but I didn't mean to damage anyone's car or anything."

I dropped my head in shame, waiting for the reprimand.

"Are you aware that it is against the law to drop anything out of a window in New York City?"

"No sir," I mumbled.

I looked up, and the two officers glanced at each other. "Ma'am, we are going to have to take her downtown," one of them said to Dr. Moscovitz.

Oh God, I'm going to jail. I can already tell, they are going to lock me in a cell with someone named Bobby Jo and Grandmere and Dad will disown me, leaving me in jail forever to rot!

I looked around sadly. I sure am going to miss this place. Lilly, Shameeka, and Ling Su stood there with shocked looks on their faces.

"Of course, officer."

I was walking toward them when the front door opened and Michael came running in.

"I saw police cars outside, what's going on…" he trailed off when he saw the policeman standing in the living room.

"Mia dropped an eggplant out of the window," Shameeka began, "but it wasn't her fault, I mean, we dared her to do it."

This is the first time I have ever seen Lilly at a loss for words. Ever. I looked over at Michael who was grinning.

"You did? You dropped an eggplant out of the window? Wow, Thermopolis, I didn't think you had it in you."

Ugh! Michael isn't even going to come to my rescue? This is the part where he is supposed to jump in front of me and say, "You'll have to go through me if you want to take Mia anywhere." Then the cops will attack him, but he'll overpower both of them. I'll swoon in his arms and he'll lower his head close to mine and kiss me. And we'll live happily ever after.

The officers stood there unmoved by Shameeka's declaration. "Okay, let's go."

The larger man handcuffed me and led me out the door. His partner stayed behind to give a word of warning. "Let this be a lesson to you. You drop something out a window, you go to jail."

We rode the elevator down in silence, and when we got to the street, Big Cop opened the back door, ducked my head, and I slid into the backseat. Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes. I looked up to Lilly's window; everyone had gathered to watch me disappear forever.

When we got to the station, I was fingerprinted, photographed, and put in a cell by myself. I curled up on the cot and pulled the blanket around me.

It must have been two hours later, I heard the key in the lock. The door slid open, and Grandmere and Dad stepped through it.

"Amelia, these colors make your skin look terrible." Grandmere fingered a part of my jumpsuit. "We just came by to say, good luck."

Good luck? Good luck? I get thrown in jail, I am wearing a hideous orange jumpsuit, am expecting to be bailed out anytime, and all she can say is "Good luck"?

The warden came to the cell and made an announcement that will forever change my life. "You are going to be locked away FOREVER…" The word forever echoed in my ears as Grandmere and Dad stood up to leave. They exited the cell with out so much as a backward glance. I was truly alone.

I lay down on the cot once more and tried to go to sleep. I must have drifted off pretty soon, because the next thing I knew, it was breakfast time. Odors of eggs and pancakes reached my nose, and I slowly opened my eyes. Lilly, Shameeka, Ling Su and Michael were staring down at me.

"See? I told you that would wake her up." Lilly said. She was holding a shoe close to my face.

I sat up quickly and looked around. Everything was different. I was sitting in Lilly's bedroom floor, and everyone else was with me.

"You must have really hit your head when Michael grabbed you and pulled you away from the window." Lilly laughed.

I felt the top of my head. Sure enough, I was growing a rather large goose-egg on my scalp.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Michael mumbled sheepishly.

I laughed. "You guys won't believe the dream I had while I was unconscious. I went to jail for tossing an eggplant out of the window."

Everyone looked around nervously. Uh oh, something's majorly wrong here.

"Guys? It was just a dream, right?"

Ling Su spoke up, "Well actually…"

Everyone chorused, "YES!"

They all laughed and eventually I joined in. Thank goodness for Michael. I could be sitting in a jail cell right now, braiding my leg hair!

End


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